I can't tell ya'll how many times I have "struggled" as a mom the last few months - well really the last year. My life seems so disorganized and out of control since I became a mom. There have been many times within the last 18 months that I have not gotten out of my pj's for several days or let the laundry get so piled up I couldn't figure out what was clean and what was dirty. There have been days where I just can't get down on the floor to play with Bryson and he winds up watching VeggieTales all day because I'm exhausted. I have put my appearance on the back burner because I don't have enough time during the day to get my hair done or a mani/pedi (oh how a pedicure sounds good to these tired feet. ha!)
Working 7 on 7 off night shift is difficult with a family - at least it is for me. I feel like I stay tired ALL the time. My house looks like a "Hot Mess!" most days and it's hard for me to have dinner on the table every night.
I feel like I don't do a good job loving and caring for my husband the way a wife should. I am horrible at returning phone calls - just ask my mother or my friend Mary. I am constantly worrying what people out in public think of me and my motherly skills. I just never expected it to be this hard. I have no idea how you mom's with more than one child can do it?
Clay and I have discussed on multiple occasions about putting Bryson in MDO twice a week. I think this is something that would benefit him and me. Bryson loves going to the nursery on Sunday's and enjoys spending time with other children. I have looked into several MDO programs around our area and have found one that I think would work for our family.
I am very thankful to know that I am not the only mother who doesn't always have it together. I am thankful to serve a wonderful and gracious God that gives me the strength each day to be a good mother, wife, daughter, and friend - even if I fall short. The Lord has blessed me with so much and every time I look at that precious little boy, I am thankful to know that in his eyes I am his momma no matter how imperfect I feel that I am.
jennifer I told eric last night I wished I had time to blog or journal about how I really feel about this whole mom thing...and it's funny that you wrote this! I'm barely getting started and I think the whole first month I was just in complete shock at how tired I was and how much work it was! then it started getting better and I was like ok..I can do this...then this week she has worn me out again!! All I do is sit and think how in the world did my mom do it with all four of us! and she home-schooled us!!!! omg..... Moms are the bomb! I told my mom last night that the day before yesterday I just went and walked around in the condo parking lot because I HAD to get out of the house! she said..yea I know that feeling....I don't know how we do it..but we do....lots of moms before us did :) right?!
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh girl. I FEEL YA! One thing that I have clung to is the book "I was a really good mom before I had kids!", it's a QUICK read, that I just read on my breaks at work. It was like therapy for me.
ReplyDeleteJust yesterday I was feeling SO proud of myself because I had a roast in the crockpot for dinner, had cleaned the kitchen, started a load of laundry, and played with the kids...I was on a roll! Well cut to the afternoon when I head out to work, only to be LATE, which is something that has happened so much lately I actually got WRITTEN UP FOR IT recently...yet I still couldn't get out the door on time yesterday.
We just can't do it all.
I am trying to remind myself that taking some time for myself -even though it takes me away from my babies and chores and husband- is really helpful to me and to them. Gotta be better about making that a priority!
The fact that you are writing this post shows that you ARE doing a good job. You willingly exposed some areas that you are concerned about as a wife and mom, and that is the first step to make changes, as you see fit! Just by seeing the type of person you are through your blog, I KNOW you are doing a great job! It's okay to be physically exhausted and emotionally drained. If you weren't, then that would show you're not investing ALL of you into your work, motherhood and marriage. We don't always need to have the picture-perfect life. And being open and raw with the fact that it's not is okay. I admire you! :)
ReplyDeleteNone of us moms always have it together 24/7. Not possible. You are doing great!
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