because what if I forget?

Never in a million years would I have dreamed this little boy of mine who made me a mama would be old enough to ride a scooter. I mean for crying out loud, SLOW THE HECK DOWN!!! He's growing up WAY TOO FAST!!! Much faster than he should be if you ask me.

I find myself these days trying to take in every single second of his life because I know in the blink of an eye these will all be just memories. I carry my camera every where I go because I'm so afraid I'm going to miss something.

See over the last 7 years I've slowly watched Alzheimer's take the memories from my grandfather. And for a girl who's grandparents' home was her home away from home it breaks my heart to see him not remember the people he loves or the memories we shared.

Watching my him over the last several years has opened my eyes to the possibility that being "in the moment" might be all I have. There might come a time in my old age where I don't remember any of this. And that reality scares me to death!      

As a parent you pour your heart and soul into your kids. You love them with a love that is indescribable. They are our entire world for a good portion of our lives. They teach us to be better individuals, to show ourselves grace, to love with every inch of who you are.

I don't want to forget!

But that's out of my control. Alzheimer's is a disease that doesn't discriminate. And so I'll be that crazy mama who carries her camera around everywhere she goes. I'll be the mama cheering her lungs out for my boys at every game.

Because I want to be in the moment, because that moment might be all I have.